The Aurist and the American

From the Pall Mall Gazette, Friday 22 February 1889:

A distinguished “aurist” was once rather amusingly “done” by an enterprising American, who bounced into his room one morning, exclaiming, in stentorian through nasal tones, “Say, before we do bus’ness, guess I should like to know the price of fixing me up.” “Two guineas for the first visit,” from the surprised specialist. “See here, thar’s two pounds and a florin,” said the American, planking down the money with a resounding smack on the table. the necessary examination was proceeded with. The prescription written and pocketed. The Yankee discoursed in an airy manner on all the topics of the day, and finally, after grasping the physician warmly by the hand, and saying in tones pregnant with feeling, “Waal, doc’, I’m real proud to ha’ met you; guess you must look me up if you ever run on Chicago, thar’s my card. Good-bye, sir, good-bye,” he slowly walked to the table, firmly took hold of the before-mentioned fee, calmly placed it in the innermost recesses of a deep waistcoat, and made a deliberate but determined exit. the dumbfounded doctor sank helplessly into his chair. Never again did he cast eyes on his genial patient, and subsequent reference to the “Chicago Directory” disclosed no satisfactory information about the guileless invalid.

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